Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Has anyone ever worn leather pants? Are they comfortable?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy bullshit

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Why are people nowadays so into anal sex?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have a reading level above third grade

I see through liars

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

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I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

How do police officers feel about the fear they instill into criminals?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What do you think are the real reasons Matt Gaetz just withdrew his name for Attorney General in the upcoming Trump administration?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

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I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can read

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones